Getting Dumped + Getting Naked + Getting Anorexic = Football "News"

By, "News", I really mean, "Crap to Entertain the Masses", but I must admit- I'm entertained.

First on the list:

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson.
We all saw it coming didn't we? I mean, you didn't actually think he was gonna marry that girl did you?!? Ahaahaha... No. Hopefully you're all with me when I say, "Finally!" Now I'm not a Romo fan by any means (unless he's on my fantasy team) so I honestly couldn't care less about his personal life. But in case you were wondering, in my expert opinion, Jessica is way too hot for him- although not so much recently... that girl needs to put down the fork. However, even a chubby Jessica Simpson is pretty good for a guy who looks like Dopey from the seven dwarfs + a few feet of height. Now, see? Obviously I couldn't care less. Anyways, moving on, their relationship has been the focus of headlines for years now and I'm thrilled to pieces that he'll no longer be on the cover of US Weekly and People because of Jessica drama. I'm sick of looking at his Dopey face to tell you the truth. Thank God that's over. Amen.

Second on the list:

WTF T.O. Put Some Clothes On!
I was so excited about The T.O. Show and now I just want to vom in my mouth. Not even because of how conceited he is; it's just because... because... ICK WHY!?? Could they really not think of any other kind of promo picture to use? Really?? Because I can think of many- and none of them involve him being totally naked. This adds nothing to the show; unless he's naked in it a lot, which I doubt since it's on VH1. I hope they re-think the promo poster. This time I vote change: ASAP.

Third on the list:

Someone Has Been Stealing Erin Andrews' Lunch (And Dinner) Money
And when I find this person I will hurt them. Why Erin? Why?? I understand there is a lot of stress and pressure associated with being a female sports broadcaster; especially being a ridiculously hot blond one- But what I wanna know is, who the hell ever told Erin Andrews to lay off the french fries?!? She has obviously (in my opinion) taken criticism of her work and interpreted it to criticism of herself. Earth to Erin Andrews: You cannot be perfect at everything and you cannot please everyone. Sadly, you were perfectly gorgeous. Now that you've gone and effed that up royally, I'd say your shelf-life as a reporter is in some serious trouble. Please eat something. Then please eat some more. Not only are you sending an awful message to young Erin wannabes; you're also giving the haters more to hate on, and I hate when people hate on you. By football season I want healthy Erin back on the sidelines filling out your a-little-too-tight pants. I don't wanna have to trade you in for Lindsay Soto or even possibly Ashley Russell... so please don't make me.
P.S.- I love you.