Check This Out

Look who's tied for first place in Fantasy Football......... (It's me it's me!) read the blog post anyways (link) it's short I swear. WOOH I'm SO EXCITED!           This is the link. CLICK IT :)

Can You Really Blame Me?

I cannot tell you the amount of times I've cried, bawled, screamed, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO US!?" then cried some more. I've even shouted at people sitting at neighboring bar stools (strangers, mind you) that, "They have No idea what they're talking about and should keep their mouths shut when it comes to discussing the Redskins!!" On multiple, again, countless occasions. I havn't made many friends this way but... whatever, I'm not looking for new friends. Especially  such negative ones. ick. Can you think of NOTHING else to talk about other than the Redskins and trying to dissect EVERYTHING that's going wrong this season? Cause you're gonna be in that bar ALL day. You might even sleep there and continue on tomorrow where u left off yesterday. Frankly my dears... I don't give a damn. Eespecially about your uneducated, under-researched, loud and passionate opinions. Which you insist on defending no matter how much sense you are NOT making.

 I've completely stopped listening to sports talk radio. It's just too depressing and it pisses me off listening to call-in listeners who (again) think they know EVERYTHING when really they're just freagin idiots. I miss my Sports Talk Radio. And thats only the beginning;  I'm sure you've gathered that. If I had written the past few weeks (months? eeek it's been so long!) TRUST me, you would not have wanted to read it. Unless you enjoy a bunch of cursing and whining and stories of destroyed dreams and crushed souls. I'm not giving up on my Show Some Skins blog. No No No Never. The names too good to give this one up ;) How bout some sweet highlights from the past few games? Will that tide you over till something NOT awful happens with the Redskins? I hope so. Being a Bye week, I've got a lil time to catch up. :) Now, where do I begin...

Ok i dont feel like writing. SUCH a blog tease. Sorry yall. Here's a photo montage of the games I didnt blog about. We just got wasted and screamed at people for booing. and cried. and screamed some more. We got so drunk we didnt even realize Cooley got injured. I know. Fan FAIL. I almost got in a wreck when my friend Nick told me on the phone after the game. The I parked and cried some more. ANyways... hereee ya go!

RAMS GAME-

Yoga in the Parking lot... why not???

I ran into/met a real (kinda real) Indian Princess and it made my WHOLE day. She made that outfit herself.

We uh... we did a little drinking. Just a litttttle...

Me, J, Bro and Bro's friend? yeah, friend

Choking me WHILE licking me... these are my friends. This is why I love them.

The girls AFTER the game. Obviously. And then we tailgated some more for hours.

NEXT GAME- PICS BELOW

We dressed up as Indian Princesses for um... for uh... yeah cant remember which game but it was at 1 PM and we had a huuuge Redskins Extravaganza tailgate and both J and I got interviewed seperately on "Inside Tailgating". It was AWESOME. oh yeah the Bucs game? yeahhh Bucs game.

Some of the tailgate crew. The ones that DIDN'T go into the game. J and I DID go into the game. Like always. Unfortunately we were so drunk and pissed that K (the skinny one in the middle with the socks) didn't come into the game to hang out with her ex bf... lame... that we totally forgot to take any pictures. FAIL. DAMMIT. It was awesome though and the Indian get-ups were a HUUUUGE hit. HUGE.

NEXT GAME- MNF VS EAGLES

I cant. The wounds are still too deep, too fresh. We have maybe two pics anyways and they're not interesting or anything so... lets just try to forget about that game. and this lame blog post. and the fact that we... no, i can't even talk about the Skins. I love them too much. That is all. Sorry I was so MIA. This isn't easy on me. (In a sad, serious way. sighhh)

The Girl With All The Gear Needs Your Help!

I know I have a lot to blog about but y'all this is important. I'm one of the 15 photo contest finalists over at The Cooley Zone and I NEED YOUR VOTE! I'm #7 (lucky # 7) aka The Girl With All The Gear. 

I understand that Iraq dude has me beat and that little girl is adorable but I just wanna get in the TOP 5. That's all I want. Please help me and vote vote vote!For me of course (#7 Girl With All The Gear. Got it?)

The pic was indeed taken at the Kenny Chesney concert. I'm not wearing it bc it was raining and I didn't wanna get it wet b/c I had just gotten it the day before. And it was hot like hell that day (hence you can tell I'm wearing a bikini top). I submitted a different picture and it was soooo amazing but they emailed me and said that it um... it couldn't have alcohol in the photo. Which knocked out almost all of my other options as well. However I'm over it. I'm just SO excited to be a part of it =). Help me win top 5!!!! Thanks guys! I'll blog about the Skins game tomorrow and possibly even the Auburn game b/c we had an amazing win over WVU. 

Here's the Link again. VOTE FOR ME # 7 Girl With All The Gear!!!! PLEASE! 

Oh and btw... You can vote more than once... just sayin...

Welcome To My Fantasy

3 out of a possible 4 of my fantasy football drafts are done with and although I didn't participate in any of them for reasons I'll explain shortly, I wanted to share my rosters with y'all... maybe get some input... that sorta thing. Ok it's shortly; I've never participated in a fantasy draft shhhhhhhh. I fill out my pre-draft ranked list thingy and do my research but never sign on for the draft, I just let the computer do it for me. Why? Meh... I guess one reason would be I have better things to do but honestly it just stresses me out and it's pointless. The computer's gonna pick my next highest ranked player anyways so why am I sitting there? I'm not. Besides, if by some chance I suck ass all season... you know what I'm blaming it on and it ain't me. "I was screwed from the get go!!!" Excuses are my specialty. Ok here we go:

1) League- Fatpickled
Team Name: TheTightestEnd
This league is put on by The Cooley Zone and Fatpickled. You can read about the members here at the Fatpickled blog (I'm in there ;-) and this was what I got... (click on it to make it bigger)

I hope Carson Palmer's ankle stops being lame. PS- How amazing is Hardknocks?!? I'm obsessed! I cant believe next week is already the finale! I'm gonna miss it. I've been praying that they do Hardknocks with the Washington Redskins next year... that would be insane. Who do y'all think they'll pick next year? K back to my team... Dear Michael Crabtree,
STOP BEING SO FREAGIN ARROGANT AND SELFISH! UGHHH
I am SICK of these stupid rookie NOBODIES demanding more money than millions of dollars. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. I kinda hope that if he does finally sign that he just breaks his foot the next day like Andre Smith because ya know what that's called??? KARMA. It's KARMA. And it doesn't matter if you're on my team or not, I don't care, Karma gets everyone. It never discriminates. Good luck Crabtree.

2) League- FFtwitter
Team Name-  TheOneThatGotAway
So some girl on Twitter who does fantasy football updates started a league and I joined because I thought... why not? I'm actually really excited about this one I adore Philip Rivers...

I think the whole team looks pretty good... a slight shortage in WR's but... whatcha gonna do? I just noticed there are 3 WR spots in this league... weird.

3) League- Fantasy Throwdown 2009
Team Name- BlondeThatSkors
This league... these are a bunch of my close friends so IT MATTERS. Whit started up the league and I HAVE TO BeaT HER. Not winning is NOT an option.

This team is and is not going to make it easy on me. Is not easy: Why so many Questionables and Probables???!! The season hasn't even STARTED yet for crying out loud. UGHHHH
Is easy: Ladanian I heart you. I'm so pumped I got you. Maybe now I can buy a Chargers jersey and validate the purchase. Yeah? Maybe? Next, Ronnie Brown you are going to be so sick this year. Ronnie went to Auburn when I did so we're as tight as two people who have never really met can possibly be. He's beast. And Williams, you'll do lol.

So what do you think? Which team is the best? Which team is the worst? What can I do to make them better? What should/shouldn't I be worried about? How do your teams look?

LET'S GO SKINS On 3

I woke up on Friday knowing I would probably not get much work (if any) done the whole day. The Redskins vs. Patriots game was at 7:30 or 8 pm or something which gave me 10+ hours to twiddle my thumbs in anticipation and stress about how much work I should be doing. I did this from my couch, wondering if anyone would pass by my office and notice I wasn't there (they did).

It was a rainy Friday, just like gameday the week before. I was initially very upset about this. If I'm going to skip a whole day of work for a Skins game I expect to get in some intense tailgating complete with melt your face off sunshine. No such luck today. I put in 2-3 hours of semi-solid work which I think is pretty impressive considering I wasn't planning on doing any hours of work. Guilt is a very powerful motivator.

I shower, round up every article of burgundy and gold clothing I own, grab two bottles of wine, check to make sure the corkscrew is in the car (it is), thank myself profusely for putting rainguards on my windows the other week and head out to pick up Jenna J (no, not a porn star), JC and Devin. We meet Whit at my parents house to grab the tickets. As I'm getting the tickets from inside and talking to my mom (or so I think) I notice she isn't responding to anything I'm saying. I am completely talking to myself. I go outside and find my mother chatting up my car full of friends which would normally be totally fine... but not today. Today my car is "bar car" and all my friends are drinking since we're running a little late for tailgating. Mom's not a fan of bar car. Mom now thinks I'm an alcoholic in desperate need of new friends. Splendid. Moving on.

By the time we get to the stadium we're all pretty much drunk. Hmmm... Mom may be right... Anyways I'm really excited because it's a little chilly which normally I would hate but not when I'm dying to wear my new "Chris Cooley Is My Life Coach" sweatshirt. Rain or no rain I could not be happier.

We all decide that we're ready to go in. This will mark the first time that I have ever gotten into the stadium without having to sprint to my section to see kickoff. We chill around the endzone bar and get some drinks. By "some drinks" I mean we take shots of tequila. It wasn't my idea but I'm not one to turn down free alcohol. Whit sees a group of 6 police officers huddled in the corridor. She approaches them to take a picture of us and begins chatting (she's intrigued by the popo).

After a couple minutes we find out that the policeman she's talking to is a Pats fan. I step back in utter horror, "But... but you work for the Redskins!" I look with wide eyes to the rest of the officers for support, motioning wildly, clearly distraught. "Don't look at me," says the one next to me, "I'm a Cowboys fan." GASP, "NO!" I take a step back and look at the officer next to Cowboys fan, "What about you?!" I say with a desperate whimper in my voice, hoping against all hope to find one Skins fan in the bunch. "Same... Cowboys fan."

My eyes reach their full wideness (and wildness) and I just begin pointing at the remaining officers to find out which team they root for. Bengals, Bengals, 49ers. I take a few more steps back and look at Whit and Jenna who seem to not be bothered by this in the slightest. I feel deeply betrayed and am almost certain that I would feel this way even if I was completely sober. JC and Devin walk up from the bar, "What's wrong?" they ask to the girl who looks like she just saw a ghost (that's me), "NONE of them are Skins fans!!" I scream and point at them in tattle-tale fashion, "Pats, Cowboys, Cowboys, Bengals, Bengals and 49ers! It's just NOT RIGHT!!"

"It's ok boo" says JC, "Let's go get another drink." I'm swayed. I'm so easy sometimes. As we walk away I glare daggers at all the cops, mentally daring them to say something about the Redskins. They don't. I notice Whit and Jenna are still talking to them. Traitors.

I glance at my phone, "OMG WE GOTTA GO!" I scream for Whit and Jenna and begin sprinting towards my section (I guess I'll be doing this no matter what time I get in the stadium). I glance to see if my friends are following and Whit runs straight into my drink knocking it all over me. How can I be mad when she's so enthusiastic and it's 30 seconds to kickoff? I cannot. We laugh and pick up the pace to an all out race. Parents with small children beware.

We scream, "See you at halftime!" to JC and Devin and dart into section 126.

Jenna was pumped because she had never been to a Pats game. Did I mention Jenna's a Patriots fan? I'm not sure how much of her fanaticalness (word?) is due to the hotness of Tom Brady and how much is due to actual... fan-like feelings? Hmmm. I know she wasn't born in New England so scratch that off the list. I also know she loves her some Tom Brady. So let's blame it on Tom. I bet we could blame many of the worlds issues on Tom. I was excited (as was Whit) because I knew the starters were going to be in for half the game. So like half the game was basically a real game that just didn't count. To me though it's not about wins and losses (bold-faced lie), but seriously guys... it's about performance and pride (and wins and losses).

Lucky for us this is just preseason because as you all know we lost. We did, however, rack up some serious pride points and put on one hell of a performance. Jason Campbell... didn't I say the boy could throw down field!??!!! DIDN'T I!?! Can we do that ALL SEASON PLEASE!? Everyone say it... "You were right Heather". If you don't want to say it now, that's fine. You can tell me at the end of the season. Either way, you'll be saying it. Ohhhh yes, you'll be saying it.

Holy Native Americans, Campbell's pass to Moss was unbelievable! Santana is back!!! How he stayed in bounds is beyond me. Snaps for Moss for getting his feet down on the play. And who is this Marko Mitchell?? Why was I unaware of this player before? And Marcus Mason? Where did these boys come from?? Are these the missing puzzle pieces? The Redskins finally meshed well! I get chills thinking about it.

Santana's not the only one who's back. Standing ovation for Mr. Chris Cooley (hey boy heyyyy). He owned that field Friday night. His 73 yard gain was B-E-A-Utiful. I vaguely remember him having another long pass that was either overthrown or a little off... but I might be making that up... that might have been a pass to Kelly... or another to Moss? I can't remember. Cooley looked like a machine running down the field though, I remember that. We all screamed, "COOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEY!!" and I waved and chopped my tomahawk through the air.

I feel inclined to mention that that may be the worst picture I've ever taken. It's got spirit though. Lots of spirit. Notice the shaka in the background? The dude behind us was Hawaiian. He LOVED him some Colt Brennan. I also like in this picture how we are clearly not hanging out with Jenna the Patriots fan.

On to the best part of the game. 3rd and goal on the 4 yard line. Campbell drops left and looks. We hold our breathe. No one's open. Campbell keeps his composure and PUMP FAKES THE SHIT OUT OF THE BALL CONFUSING THE HELL OUT OF PATS LB PARIS LENON (ohhh what an idiot you looked like Paris) AND RUNS STRAIGHT INTO THE ENDZONE. He does what now? YOU HEARD ME. TOUCHDOWN BITCHES! Oops, I mean TOUCHDOWN REDSKINS! And... I even saw Jason Campbell crack a smile. Swear on my life I saw a grin. I talked about and re-brought-up that play for the rest of the night, "Did you SEE that!?!" Jason Campbell I am in awe of you. I missed you. War Damn Eagle Baby.

Halftime consisted of drinking, meeting up with friends and a whole lot of, "Did you SEE that!?!" After halftime we didn't go back to our regular seats. We followed JC and Devin to Devin's seats because he said there were open ones around them. I walked straight past the woman checking tickets and just pretended to be deaf and/or stupid (she didn't come after me). These seats were worth it. Home side, 10 yard line, 3 rows up from the field. THREE rows up from the field. Observe:

That's not zoomed in at ALL. Oops maybe it wasn't ten yard line... looks like endzone. Whatever. They were awesome. Randle El ran right past us twice. So close I could have talked to him without even yelling. Incredible.

Side note: What are your thoughts on the new Redskins cheerleader uniforms? Anyone else think they just look like American Apparel?? I kinda miss the old ones.

Back to the game. I'm drunkish and very very happy. Until Colt throws a pick. Dammit Colt. His face (besides being adorable) is the exact opposite of Campbells and not just because he's white and Campbell's black... b/c that's an obvious and I feel retarded even stating it. Brennan shows so much emotion on the field. His face just fell like, "Oh God noooooo! Whhhhy?! Fer real?! Again?!?" Man and then he just got taken down hard trying to stop the rush. I hope he puts on a freagin stellar performance against the Jaguars because I'm sick of people talking about cutting Colt. It's ridiculous. Why would people say such things? He did have a gorgeous touchdown pass in the 3rd. And thank God because he deserved it. 33 yards to Mitchell (who is that kid?!) and it's all tied up at 24.

In my head the game ended at 24. In preseason I don't think that field goals in the last minute and a half should count. So I don't count them. And that was it. I was a little upset that they upset us with one minute left but whoop-di-freagin-doo it doesn't really matter now does it? The Redskins have been flying waaay under the radar so far. ESPN has basically written us off as around a 6-10 team. A 6-10 team. Fer reals. Sports Center never talks about us. It's all Vick this and Favre that and Brady this and Cutler that. GOOD. Ignore us. I cant wait to see your ugly faces when we destroy ALL OF YOU.

Breathe Breathe. Phew. Ok. Now help: What the hell should I do about Brandon Marshall tonight? I have a fantasy draft and he's really pissing me off and stressing me out. Feedback loved and appreciated.

HTTR!

Oh hey want your own "Chris Cooley Is My Life Coach" T-shirt or hoodie? Get em here. They have other awesome gear too. LOTS of other awesome gear. Personal Fav: I Hate Dallas and So Should You

Excuse Me Miss... I'm Going To Need To See Your... Is That A Tomahawk??

3:55 PM Thursday, August something, 2009- I dash from my office while boss man is in the little boys room. Down 3 flights of stairs and out the side door. Two things suddenly hit me:
1) Massive amounts of Sunlight. Phew. It is confirmed that I am not yet a vampire and all is well with the world.
2) How beautiful GiGi looks with such bad ass flags on the back windows. Raaawrrrr gurl you so sexxxy.
Oh then one more thing hits me:
One more thing) I'm late... Dammit.
J texts me and says L just got to her office and they're ready and waiting for me to pick them up. Then she adds (unnecessarily if you ask me) that if we miss kickoff it will be all my fault and it will completely ruin L's birthday. So I need to hurry my ass up.
Although I love L, very much so, I was less worried with ruining her birthday and more worried with missing kickoff for personal fanatical reasons. I drove like a maniac. Anyone see me on the roads? No I didn't think so... cause I was FLYING.

I learned some great things that Thursday. A day in which you learn something is a day well spent... or something whatever. I learned that Baltimore has relocated recently. Yeah, when I was a kid and we (family) went to Orioles games... it took like 3 1/2 hours to get there. Now I knew that was probably due a bit to my mother- the safest driver in the world- and I had also google maped Baltimore earlier and it said it was 45 minutes away to which I said, "BULLSHIT". I may have even coughed when I said that. It's a habit. So I averaged out 3.5 hrs + 50 min divided by 70+ mph times percentage of cars on the road to the 3rd power (# of people in my car) and figured (statistically speaking) Baltimore must be about 2 hrs away. Round down since I'm not driving- I'm flying- 1 1/2 hrs.

FALSE! Google maps I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You were right. How did you know? 45 minutes really?!? That's IT?! I had no idea. I had no idea my mother could drive that slow. Oh and 45 minutes was the ride home... it actually did take around 2 hours to get there, Traffic is SUCH a BITCH. Especially when you're dealing with Marylanders. ESPECIALLY when those Marylanders are Ravens fans going to a Ravens vs. Skins game.

What else did I learn... hmmm... oh yeah, Baltimore. Sucks.

I hate to say "Can you say ghettttooo" when my team hails from DC (which I like to think stands for the "Definition of Classy" and yes you can RT that) ... but... Can you say GHETTO!??!!

Oh and evidently spiking your hair w/massive amounts of gel is still totally cool there. I know... It's like an alien world only 45 minutes away. I wonder if Michael Phelps was checking himself out in the mirror, fixin his hair when he crashed his car that night... (picture caption...) That's not water... that's hair gel. Douchey Ugly Tools Who Think They're Hot Shit UNITE in B-more!! No Homo.

Anyways. We get there. We cant find the O lot. The O lot is NOwhere to be found. Signage? Yeah for every lot EXCEPT the O lot. Typical. We miss kickoff. I'm pissed now. Ravens fans hoot and holler at us as we walk to the stadium (we finally found the O lot after asking at least 10 Baltimorons where it was. Long story not interesting) which makes me more pissed. Oh but what IS a little interesting... When we find O lot we also find that the lots have assigned parking spots. ALL the spots are numbered. I cant go find the biggest spot and park in it. I HAVE to park in my spot. I'm not gonna lie I don't remember the number at all. Irrelevant. Yeah that wasn't that interesting. So the game has already started. I'm on a highly focused, fast paced mission to get to our seats asap.

I attempt to walk straight into the stadium drinking a can of beer and smoking a cigarette. For some reason when I go somewhere new I forget that though I'm not at home... the rules still apply. I guess I assume other places will be different. "Oh you mean I can't get this Vodka water in a to-go cup?? Why the fuck not I'm on vacation bitch"

Something like that. I am stopped by Ravens staff, let's call them bouncers b/c that's what they looked like. Ray Lewis. They were all that size. I must throw out and put out. So I do. Then I realize I have a small bottle (one from a little four pack) of wine in my purse. Awesome! "Miss, I need to look inside your purse" Shit. Baltimore does bag check too. What are the odds? I decide to put these bouncers (actually this was just a normal sized black woman bouncer) to the test. I still don't know how she didn't see the wine bottle. I mean, it was right there. It must have been my amazing distraction skills. Or it may have been my tomahawk. Either way... Ravens security does not compare to Redskins security. Suck it Baltimore.

I get through security (I think) and see L and J, "YEAHH LET'S DO IT!"
I am stopped suddenly by a big, black bouncer arm, "Miss, I'm going to need to see your... tomahawk? Is that a tomahawk?"
"Hell yeah it's a tomahawk! We're Indians!" (make battle cry with mouth and hand while waving arm with tomahawk above my head)
Bouncer is clearly entertained and begins inspecting tomahawk. I try to speed up the process...
"It's just plastic it ain't g'ona hurt nobody... (bouncer nods)... unless they're askin for it of course" (evil grin)
Bouncer laughs assuming I'm kidding (I am not), "Where'd you get that?" Hands it back to me.
"Halloween. I stole it from an Indian Chief."

And off we go into the wild purple yonder.

Our seats are lower endzone. I'm not a huge fan of endzone seats but they were free so... I'm a fan of free. We get there. We're mildly drunk at this point but sober enough to realize that we are sitting right behind the entire Ravens band. Fuck. My. Life.

We make fun of them the whole game. Especially the "clappers". They stand in the back of the band; their only job is to clap. SOOO much talent in Baltimore. Excellent clappers. We also make fun of the douchey boys around us and their trashy women. I know, sounds like an amazing time. It was indeed.

Till we realized we were losing. We were losing AND we hadn't even gotten so much as a field goal. How did this happen? I pay attention at games. Seriously I'm the most focused chick in the stadium no matter how intoxicated. I didn't like being at another stadium though... I was distracted by all the sucky people around me. They were more interested in heckling us than in paying attention to the game and I never take heckling sitting down. Oh no... I heckle back. And I'm fucking good at it. L is really good at it too. I'm actually really REALLY surprised we didn't get in any fights. Baltimore fans are such pussys.

I'm not really going to get into how the team played this game, sorry but so many starters didn't play at all it just seems pointless. I will say that Collins looked good, decent, alright; pretty boring if you ask me though. Colt looked good... I think he had a pick but better to get it outta the way right? He looked good rushing, picked up some good yards there.

Ugh, sorry guys from now on I wont wait over two weeks to write about a game... it's a little hard to remember much after this long. Anyways, it wasn't really a great game. It was fun but altogether looked like a scrimmage/practice. But what can I really expect? I mean, that's kind of exactly what preseason is.

The game left us feeling like this... >>>>>> I'm not sure what J is doing though. Actually I'm not really sure what any of us are doing... we're a unique group.

The Ravens cheerleaders kicked ass though. They're the only cheerleaders in the NFL that stunt. If you don't know what that means, it means they throw girls up in the air and stuff... like competitive cheerleading. I fell in love. They were really good. Wanna see a video?

Of course you do. You're in luck- I took one.



No I will not be trying out for the Ravens squad. Redskins squad? Yes, next year. Ravens? NEVER.

I also went to the Steelers game at Fed Ex last week and it was MUCH better. God it was so much better, not even comparable. I think it's because I didn't wear the necklace I wore to Baltimore (it obviously was bad luck) I will never wear that necklace again.

And don't worry, we play the Pats tomorrow and I'm going to that game as well so I'm gonna write about the Steelers game TODAY. Get excited. Fuck Baltimore. HTTR!

Watch Out B-more... Here We Come

AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH YES YES YES IT'S HERRREEE!!!! AHHHH! I'M SO EXITED I'M SO EXCITED! AHHHHHHHHH!

In 24 hours I will be happily skipping out of work, changing into shorts, a skins tank top, a jersey, a hat and/or headband and flip flops, putting car window flags on my car, heading to pick up my friends J and L and then... and thennn... WE HEAD TO BALTIMORE TO WATCH THE SKINS TAKE ON THE RAVENS IN THE FIRST PRE-SEASON GAME!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I cant believe it's finally here! Football season is HERE! No more watching stupid baseball highlights on ESPN! Well... a little bit but I can handle a little bit. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this. Without football a part of me would die every August. I'm a summer baby, a beach girl; I get pretty depressed come winter- I HATE winter. Football keeps me alive through February and then it's just a couple short torturous months counting down to when the warm weather comes back. Thanksgiving and Christmas have NOTHING on football. Once Halloween is over it's all football all the freagin time for me and I LOVE it.

I'm lucky enough to have some bad ass friends, both girls and boys, who also are pretty obsessed with football so you can expect some pretty amazing stories of our football outings. I promise they will never disappoint. Tomorrow is L's birthday so you know it's gonna get crazy. So maybe I'll see you in Baltimore tomorrow! If you're going to the game let me know! We're pretty amazing tailgating buddies... we will whoop you in some beer pong. We also love corn hole and shotgunning beers before game time. =) HTTR!!! I cant even express how pumped I am. AHHHHH!!!

Word On The Street Is...

Anyone a fan of Joe Gibbs out there?... No?? Go wash your mouth out with soap!! Joe Gibbs is a legend; especially here in the DMV area, and he always will be. I have exciting news for Joe Gibbs loyals... he's going to be at The McLean Bible Church TONIGHT speaking for FREE. If you've ever driven down Route 7 around the Tysons area then you know the church I'm talking about. It's the big one. Seriously, that place is huge. The size of their parking garages (yes, garages plural) rival the ones at the mall. And our mall is nothing to scoff at. The above link takes you straight to their homepage where you'll read everything you need to know about it but I'll give you a short breakdown here.

From the McLean Bible Website: Former Redskins Coach and NASCAR champion Joe Gibbs will share his testimony of how he discovered the true “Game Plan For Life” in the message of Jesus Christ. He'll be speaking live at the Tysons Campus (yes, this church is so big they have "Campuses") and it will also broadcast via satellite to all MBC Campuses on July 28 (tonight) at 7:30 pm. He will sign copies of his new book “Game Plan For Life” at the Tysons Campus from 6:15 – 7:15 pm and pre-signed books will be available for purchase at each campus location.

And what would a Joe Gibbs event be without tailgating? Show up early with $5 cash and enjoy family friendly (I'm guessing that means 'sans alcohol'.... I mean, it is a church people) tailgating courtesy of... wait for it... Red Hot and Blue BBQ. YUM. Carpooling is highly encouraged and since the event is totally open to the public, MBC is asking everyone planning on attending to please register in advance (do it now) so they know how many people to expect. Registration links are here (the same link as before).

I'm just guessing, but (pardon my French) I'd say to expect a clusterduck of people. Clusterduck isn't really a word, not even in french, but it would just feel wrong to curse while writing about a church event. Despite what others say, I do have a conscience. I also used to be a church-goin gal and plan to one day soon get back into the Sunday morning service routine. True story.

But wait... that's not all. No no no. When Joe Gibbs does anything he does it big or he goes home. In true Joe fashion (before 2007 anyways) he's doin it big. Also today, Joe's going to be online starting at 2:15 p.m. ET taking your questions and comments about his years as Redskins head coach, NASCAR (vroom vroom) and his new book, the previously mentioned Game Plan For Life. Have any questions or comments for Coach Gibbs? (He'll always be Coach Gibbs to me) You can submit them before or during the online discussion. Here's the link to submit questions or comments courtesy of The Washington Post.

Pretty exciting day in Washington for Coach Gibbs fans eh? I wonder how much he's going to talk about NASCAR...

Moving on. So yesterday I heard (key word heard) through a couple of usually very reliable sources that Michael Vick's been prowling around Northern Virginia; specifically the Ashburn/Loudoun County area and then apparently spotted later on in the day in Lansdowne. "But why?! What does it all mean?!" I had the same reaction at first. Then I realized it means absolutely nothing. Vick's been reinstated; now he just needs a team. Obviously he's shopping around for one. So far, everything I've read (and trust me, I've been reading a lot and talking to a lot of people) is saying 'no Vick in Redskins future'. Repeat: No Vick in Redskins Future. I hope this decision sticks and it has nothing to do with Vick personally or even his QB abilities; it has everything to do with Jason Campbell. JC's been through enough this off-season wouldn't you say? Toying with the idea of signing Vick would just be another slap in the face and seriously our QB deserves more respect than that. A lot more respect.

In other Michael Vick news, he's got former Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy in his corner. Dungy frequently (sometimes, occasionally, a couple times... I dunno) visited Vick while he was in jail and has been keeping up with him with visits and phone calls since his release. Dungy wholeheartedly believes that the former Falcon is on the right track, is focused on turning his life around and is ready re-start his NFL career. Dungy not only supports Vick's reinstatement, he's also become a mentor and advisor for Vick while he goes through this transitional stage in his life.

Even though I'm not a fan of the Colts, I always liked Coach Dungy... even though I totally expected him to have a massive heart attack or stroke after every missed Colts catch and every call from the refs that he didn't agree with. Didn't you?! He got into the games more than any coach I've ever watched. He was so passionate. I was sad to see him go and I'm thrilled that he's helping out Michael Vick. Hurray for positive influences! Check out Dungy's personal blog/diary here for more info!

That's it for now. Obviously that isn't the only word on the street at the moment but I gotta get this posted so y'all can log in for the Joe Gibbs Q & A at 2:15. I wouldn't want you to miss it. Aloha and Mahalo for now!

FYI Friday

FYI Friday is something I'm hoping to do every week on my favorite day (Friday, obviously). I''m gonna hit you with the latest news, as well as the latest "news", and (of course) share a few of my own thoughts on the matter. This week has been chock full of rumors, reports, updates, accusations and surprises relating to the NFL as well as the NCAA. Well, let's get to it shall we?

• Clinton Portis has been spotted sporting a new look. I'm actually a couple weeks late on this bit of "news" but... better late than never right? Personal opinion: He can sport whatever look he wants- He's Clinton freagin Portis. He can wear girl clothes and a thong tha thong thong thong for all I care, he's still gonna rush all over you come Sunday (or Monday). Say somethin. (Say somethin should be read in a confrontational ghetto voice to get the effect I was going for)

• Chris Cooley is back from his trip and has started training to go to war. THIS. IS. DC! (Think: This. Is. Sparta.) I admire his approach. The Redskins are going to war: With the Giants, the Eagles, the Cowboys, the Steelers, the Chargers, the Falcons, etc. Bring it on bitches. We will destroy you.
  

• The QB that looks disturbingly like an ogre (aka Ben Roethlisberger) and led his team, the Steelers, to a Superbowl win last year has been accused of raping some money-hungry slutbucket. Wait, no, my mistake; he's been accused of raping an innocent young woman. Side note: I wasn't aware until now that innocent young women even existed anymore. It's amazing, you really do learn something new every day. Oh and for the record- He didn't do it. Shocker. Obviously he's gonna say he didn't do it. Do I think he did it? Well, one would hope that an NFL quarterback coming off a Superbowl win would have more sense than to commit such a crime. However, he does look like an ogre... and ogre's aren't known for their smarts. In fact, I believe they're known for the opposite. Awesome NFL QB or not; that kid is just not attractive in any way, shape or form. Honestly I have no idea if he did it or not. No one really does. All I know is that the last place I would want to be is in a hotel room (or anywhere for that matter) all alone with a horny Big Ben. I shudder at the thought.

• Michael Vick is a free man awaiting NFL reinstatement. What do straight men do after getting off house arrest? They hit up the local strip club, DUH. I find nothing wrong with this. Seriously. If you've never been to a strip club and you're of age I highly recommend you go check one out b/c they're a lot of fun; even for a straight girl. Don't go to a sketchy one though. Keep it classy. People need to relax and cut this man some slack. I mean, he did his time, he paid out the ass, he complied with all the rules of his house arrest and we didn't even hear him complain about it. What's a guy supposed to do now? Huh? What's he gotta do to play some freagin football. Vick was born to play football. He's not running for president of the United States or anything. I don't see what the huge fuss is about. If your response is something along the lines of, "He's a dog killer with no remorse", then I recommend you go live in or around Atlanta, Georgia for a few years. Absorb the culture down there. Then you can come back north and say whatever you wanna say about Vick. But if you've never lived in the south, you need to shut your mouth b/c you don't know what you're talking about. I'm not pro-dog fighting or anything, but I do understand where he's coming from. It's like bull fighting in Spain. They don't think much of it down south from my experience. It's just what they do. I personally feel sorry for Michael Vick and don't think he deserved the shit storm that rained down on him. If you don't agree with me that's fine; most of my friends don't either.

• Tim Tebow is still the proud owner of his V-card. Making women everywhere ready and eager to jump his bones. I listened to part of his interview this morning on the radio and I totally believe him. He's a conservative, he's anti-abortion and he's upfront about his beliefs. My mom would love him. Good for him. I knew I liked him, even though he is a gator (and Auburn Tigers do not like Florida Gators). America needs more guys like Tim Tebow. He's hot, he's talented, he's driven, he's smart, he's saving himself AND he's not ashamed of it. Why would you be ashamed of it? Why are people making this out to be some huge deal? I find it admirable that he doesn't feel the need to sleep with every PYT that comes his way. Tim Tebow could get any woman. Snaps to Tebow for rising above and showing that not all guys are horny little assholes. I hope I'm lucky enough to meet a guy just like him one day. Seeing as how most guys really are horny little assholes... the chances of this happening are probably slim to none. Sigh. This is why I'm single. Boys take notes. You could learn a thing or two from TT.
  

• Erin Andrews evidently has a video all over the Internet of her in her hotel room undressing or checking herself out or slapping her own ass or something. Who knows who recorded the video. And for the record can I just say: Who cares?!? Not I. Just give me my sports news and nobody gets hurt. What she does in her hotel room when tom's are peeping is of no interest to me. I know you horny little asshole boys are probably very interested to which I say: GET A LIFE. Leave the girl alone before you drive her to anorexia again. Sheesh.
  

• The University of Georgia sucks even more in my book now. Why? Because everyone knows that ugly quarterbacks are never as good as hot quarterbacks. Purely opinion obviously but still based on truth. Just look at the whole picture. You would have to agree that Tom Brady would not be as popular if he was ugly. I mean that's basically a fact. He might have been as good but he never would have been as popular. Big Ben is ugly. Fact. Big Ben's team just won the Superbowl. Fact. Now, have you seen Ben in any clothing advertisements? Commercials? In Magazines? Tabloids? No, you haven't. Why? Because he's ugly and no one wants to look at him. The quarterback position has more to it than just making plays. The QB represents the team and/or University. I want my QB to be easy on the eyes and dominate on the field. I want the total package. Unfortunately for UGA... their quarterback is just plain fugly. So I just wanted them to know... that the rest of the SEC is laughing at you. Ha. Ha. Ha. Y'all really are dawgs. Woof.
  

Mister Irrelevant: Very Relevant

If I could "ReTweet" this I'd be all over it. I cant though. This isn't Twitter; it's a blog. Mister Irrelevant is one of my favorite sports bloggers and he hits the nail right on the head this time. For Those Who Doubt Jason Campbell is his post from July 17. Not only do I recommend you click on the link and read his post; I'll even go as far to say that if you don't go check it out- you can just forget about being friends because we are so over. Need more incentive? Well, honestly I'm offended but you probably don't even care. Here, jerkface: This should be all the incentive you need...



I remember exactly what I was doing when Jason threw that amazing pass and we came back to beat the Saints. Unfortunately I was not watching from the stands like I normally would be doing. I wanted to be, more than anything I wanted to be there but I was at the beach in North Carolina with my family. When this happened I was standing on the beach on my cell phone with my friend Sam and he was giving me play-by-play updates on the game. Thank God for Sam, my Redskins game announcer. It was like listening to the radio. When we scored and pulled ahead of the Saints I was cheering and freaking out on the beach while my brother screamed ,"What!? What's going on?!? Are we winning???!!" The rest of my family (and the beach) just stared with no idea what was going on or what on earth I was doing. I feel like I was there at that game. I could see the throw and TD in my head. I could see the team and stands celebrating after the game too. It's so much better watching it for real though. What a beautiful play. What a great game. What a crucial win for us.

In conclusion: Believe in Jason Campbell. I can feel his presence here in Washington. I hear the haters and I can see the hope in the air. The pressure is mounting. In a few weeks it'll be here. He's ready. He's going to bust out and own the field this year. Everything is falling into place. People are saying that this is his year but they have no idea what he's about to do or what he's capable of. He's going to take everyone by surprise. The haters will more than eat their words. The believers will be in wide-eyed shock. Jason's going to bring consistency to the Redskins this year: Consistent excellence. This is not just me talking. I know these things. I'm a pre cog. Seriously though I'm clairvoyant. Just you wait. You'll see.

Haters.

HTTR

We Aint Goin Nowhere... Welcome To DC Jeremy Jarmon

Instead of adding depth to the O-line in an effort to put more points on the board, the redskins seem to be taking a different approach this off-season. The exact opposite approach actually: Leave the O-line alone, build a defense that resembles a brick wall. I would like to welcome Jeremy Jarmon to DC at this time; you made the right decision kid. Also at this time I would like to say that although the Skins have caught a lot of slack for this approach to team-building the past couple of months, I think it's absolutely brilliant.

Despite what critics say, our O-line is not bad. We've got a lot of clutch players as well as some players who may become clutch players in the future. Jason Campbell is one of those possible future play makers. Being an Auburn Alum, I'd like to point out at this time that Jason is a rookie in the realm of having an unchanging offensive system. The West Coast system the Skins are using now is similar to the system the 2004 Auburn Tigers football team utilized. If you are unfamiliar with how Jason played under this system... let me familiarize you for a minute...



I guess I could have just given you some 2004 strictly Jason Highlights but the War Eagle spirit runs deep in my veins and that video gives me chills every time I watch it. Can you blame me for wanting to share this with the world? 1:18 in the video is my favorite. Don't ever say Jason Campbell cant throw deep because you obviously have no idea what you're talking about. Jason currently holds the record for the longest touchdown completion in Auburn football history; an 87 yard pass to Silas Daniels in 2004 against Louisiana Tech University. I was there. Look it up.

In 2004 Jason led Auburn to an undefeated season, an SEC championship and ultimately ended up (cough) second (cough) in the nation after #1 USC destroyed #2 Oklahoma 55-19 in the Orange Bowl. Just thinking about that game makes me want to kill a kitten. #3 Auburn beat #8 Virginia Tech in the Sugar Bowl that year and then... that was it. The season came to an end and Auburn fans everywhere were left with a bitter "what if" mentality which haunts me to this day. I'm sure it's not hard to tell what my feelings on the BCS are; or my feelings towards USC for that matter. Auburn football has never been the same and that doesn't help my bitterness. They do, however, still manage to make bad ass pre-game videos. Observe:



Sigh. Auburn I will love you forever. Anyways, if I'm still feeling shafted from that year I'm willing to bet Jason is too. If I were him I'd be hungry for success and anxious to prove myself. I'm not really worried about Jason this year and it would seem, based on their recent actions, that Snyder, Cerrato and Zorn aren't either. I'm ignoring the fact that they were crushing on Jay Cutler and Mark Sanchez for a hot minute; I think they just enjoy the drama. I also think they have a fetish with young, hot quarterbacks. Can you blame them?

Despite my feelings towards Snyder and Cerrato (love Zorn), building up our defense like this while we wait for Campbell to adjust and blossom, if you will, is pure genius. Jarmon is young; he's really young. He's a big boy; 6'3" 277 lbs at the moment. He also seems to have a good head on his shoulders. "What are you talking about!?" You say, "He failed his drug test and was kicked off his college team! He's a thug at best!" You, my friend, fail at life if this is your opinion.

Kentucky has their rules, they obviously stick to them and that's fine. This isn't a case of hard drugs or marijuana use though. He was using a diuretic supplement that he probably got at GNC (the salesmen there are good. They'll get you to buy stuff you never knew you always needed) while recovering from a shoulder injury. There's a lot of responsibility that goes along with playing NCAA division I-A football but there is also a lot of pressure and I think we forget how young these players really are. I'm not gonna get into what I was doing my junior year in college because it's not really important; but I went to a big southern football university, had classes with some players, saw them out on the town at night, etc. Let me tell you that it doesn't matter how good they are on the field, some of them are just plain dumb off the field. So trust me when I say that Jarmon is no dummy. Listen to the interview.

Now, don't you agree that he sounds articulate and level-headed? He sounds ready. He already has his degree in political science from UK and is focused on his future. He likes political science and football... is there any better place in the world for those two things than DC? He's a perfect fit.

How long have I been rambling? 20 minutes... give or take? Sheesh. I had a point. I may have already made it but I need a conclusion so here ya go. The Redskins are building an impenetrable defense. Though I doubt Jarmon will start for the Skins this year, the pick will not be a loss by any means. He'll be practicing with the team, watching and learning from the best, growing, absorbing information and hell, who knows? If it's a good fit he may just start. If not, there's always next year and the years ahead. He wants to play for Washington and maybe that's why I'm so partial to him. I love when players want to be a Redskin instead of, say, a Tampa Bay Buc or something: It's proof for me that we're building a powerhouse team here in Washington, and that excites the hell outta me.

When a team has an impenetrable defense they win football games. It's a fact; an undeniable truth. It doesn't even really matter if your offense is sub-par: When other teams cannot score against you, well, then they simply cant beat you. The 2000 Ravens team and 2008 Steelers team are just a couple of examples. You get the idea. I'm sick of hearing people complain about our O-line and bitching about our team management. We all want the same things: We want to win, we want to dominate, we want respect, we want other teams to fear us, and we want another Superbowl win. Right now for the Redskins, I can think of no better approach than to create a crazy awesome defense. It takes some pressure off our offense, and maybe without all that added stress they'll actually excel like I know they can! It's perfect. Do the damn thang defense. God I can't wait for football season!

Getting Dumped + Getting Naked + Getting Anorexic = Football "News"

By, "News", I really mean, "Crap to Entertain the Masses", but I must admit- I'm entertained.

First on the list:

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson.
We all saw it coming didn't we? I mean, you didn't actually think he was gonna marry that girl did you?!? Ahaahaha... No. Hopefully you're all with me when I say, "Finally!" Now I'm not a Romo fan by any means (unless he's on my fantasy team) so I honestly couldn't care less about his personal life. But in case you were wondering, in my expert opinion, Jessica is way too hot for him- although not so much recently... that girl needs to put down the fork. However, even a chubby Jessica Simpson is pretty good for a guy who looks like Dopey from the seven dwarfs + a few feet of height. Now, see? Obviously I couldn't care less. Anyways, moving on, their relationship has been the focus of headlines for years now and I'm thrilled to pieces that he'll no longer be on the cover of US Weekly and People because of Jessica drama. I'm sick of looking at his Dopey face to tell you the truth. Thank God that's over. Amen.

Second on the list:

WTF T.O. Put Some Clothes On!
I was so excited about The T.O. Show and now I just want to vom in my mouth. Not even because of how conceited he is; it's just because... because... ICK WHY!?? Could they really not think of any other kind of promo picture to use? Really?? Because I can think of many- and none of them involve him being totally naked. This adds nothing to the show; unless he's naked in it a lot, which I doubt since it's on VH1. I hope they re-think the promo poster. This time I vote change: ASAP.

Third on the list:

Someone Has Been Stealing Erin Andrews' Lunch (And Dinner) Money
And when I find this person I will hurt them. Why Erin? Why?? I understand there is a lot of stress and pressure associated with being a female sports broadcaster; especially being a ridiculously hot blond one- But what I wanna know is, who the hell ever told Erin Andrews to lay off the french fries?!? She has obviously (in my opinion) taken criticism of her work and interpreted it to criticism of herself. Earth to Erin Andrews: You cannot be perfect at everything and you cannot please everyone. Sadly, you were perfectly gorgeous. Now that you've gone and effed that up royally, I'd say your shelf-life as a reporter is in some serious trouble. Please eat something. Then please eat some more. Not only are you sending an awful message to young Erin wannabes; you're also giving the haters more to hate on, and I hate when people hate on you. By football season I want healthy Erin back on the sidelines filling out your a-little-too-tight pants. I don't wanna have to trade you in for Lindsay Soto or even possibly Ashley Russell... so please don't make me.
P.S.- I love you.

Colt Brennan Puts On (an Interview) For His City

On Tuesday, July 7, Stephen Tsai and Leila Wai of The Honolulu Advertiser sat down for an interview with Washington Redskins Colt Brennan for The Warrior Beat and they didn't get up for... a long time. I didn't time it and there isn't a timer on the video so I'm not sure exactly how long it is but I had to stand up and stretch when it was over so... yeah, it's lengthy.

Totally worth it though. If Colt Brennan can take time away from his vacation (aka off-shore training) in Hawaii to answer all these questions; well I think we should listen to his answers. He gives a really good interview with honest, unscripted answers. Here's the link again, in case you missed it.

Did I mention that these questions are being sent in by the fans? So if you missed your chance to ask Colt something, there's a good chance someone else asked it for you. He answers around 100 questions (total guess out of nowhere) it's probably more than that (no clue).

Some of what you'll learn about Colt from the interview includes (but is definitely not limited to) topics such as:

-His singing and dancing ability
-His feelings towards baseball
-What he did for the 4th of July
-The status of his much talked about love life
-His favorite surf spot in Hawaii
-His feelings towards Jason Campbell, Coach Zorn, Santana Moss, etc.
-How he feels about living in Northern Virginia
-How the recovery from his hip surgery is going
-His feelings on the Redskins Rivalries
and much much much more.

Personal favorite parts-
-His use of the "word" funnest.
-When he says something like, "I just wanna go outside and play!"

The T.O. Show

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/07/07/the-to-show-is-coming-soon/

Last year I hated T.O. more than almost every other human on the planet. Rivalries are a funny thing aren't they? Being a Skins fan I naturally detest all things Dallas. This slightly taints my view of their players though. I wholeheartedly believed that I hated T.O. due to his cocky arrogance, for his blatant disregard to the "no I in team" and for the way he placed the blame on his teammates when he didn't perform well. When he was on the market for a new team, at first, I wanted to vom at the slightest thought or mention of him ever becoming a Redskin. "T.O. is a cancer" I'd say, "If he comes to the Skins I'll riot in protest! Dan Snyder better watch his back. I cannot and will not be held responsible for what I most certainly will do to him." T.O.'s temporary unemployment caused extreme stress in my life. One team was gonna get cancer and I lived in fear that it would be the Skins. For reasons I cant explain, I was slightly surprised when he signed with Buffalo; but also relieved. Let him rot in upstate New York, I thought. Enjoy the winter. And with that, the T.O. drama ended. Until...

The Superstars aired on TV.

I saw a preview and was immediately interested in the show for one reason and one reason only: Seeing T.O. in a light other than football. I was curious about him. The Dallas hatred had actually worn off and I was eager to see the other sides of Terrell Owens. I was hooked after one episode. I began to understand the cockiness. He's competitive to the core: He wants to win. He has to win. He's an outstanding athlete. That's an understatement... He's black Superman.

After episodes two and three I had to admit... I was pretty much in love with this guy. He's an equal opportunity shit-talker. He understands that he wont always win but he hates it and will always think that he should have won because he believes that he's the best. I actually admire this attitude. He's so passionate about his sport that he doesn't worry or care about other people and their feelings because they don't matter. He wants the ball, he wants to score, he wants to win- that's his only focus. He probably shouldn't have chosen a team sport to go pro in but c'est la vie. If everyone in the NFL had the same intensity as T.O., I think the sport would be better off. Just my opinion. But can you imagine?! I can. And it's awesome.

So I'm going through Twitter updates yesterday and ProFootballTalk had a recent update that read like this, ""The T.O. Show" Is Coming Soon http://tinyurl.com/mhr7vp #NFL" 10:46 AM Jul 7th from API. (You should follow them if you're on Twitter) My jaw dropped. I clicked the link. Here it is again because I want you all to watch the trailer that much:

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/07/07/the-to-show-is-coming-soon/

I watched the whole trailer and was excited to learn that T.O. is indeed human. News to me. He cries... whoa. Just watch the trailer. The show premieres July 20th on VH1. You know I'll be watching.

All it took was a little "reality" television and no Dallas affiliation to get me to appreciate T.O. and now I have a totally new game plan. T.O. plays for the Bills this year and puts up ridiculous numbers. Maybe he even learns how to be a little respectful towards his coaches and fellow teammates since football's so crucially team oriented. That would be nice: Respect and Ridiculous numbers. The Bills need more help than ridiculous numbers though (especially with the future of the team so up in the air right now... Toronto??... Realllly?!?) Anyways, so at the end of the season he hunts again for a new team. He has to be careful though; he's going through football teams faster than fire spreads in Southern California. The NFL is already sick of it but I feel like this time they'll understand. One last time- one last team. A team with extreme potential. It has to be the team. A team that could use one last piece (T.O.) of the puzzle (a balanced offense/defense) to become whole. With T.O. this team will become a perfect, unbeatable football machine bound for Superbowl glory. The team I'm talking about is obviously the Redskins and yes, I'm serious.

It's perfect. Terrell was a Cowboy and if you watched the trailer you saw that he's blatantly bitter towards them. Welcome to DC; we shoot Cowboys with their own guns. I think he'd love it here. I think he would excel here. I think he would have excellent chemistry with the rest of the team. I'm gonna say it-- He needs a big, rich team in which the players are pretty ghetto. We are that. Indeed. Except for Jason Campbell; that boy is white. He's whiter than Colt Brennan. Ok, bad example, Colt's actually black on the inside... He's whiter than Todd Collins. Nailed it. Jason Campbell would be a great quarterback for Terrell. A calm, strong, drama-free QB. Not that other people don't bring drama to him but he handles it differently than Tony Romo. He doesn't let it get to him and he doesn't feed the media anything extra. He doesn't have any ego issues and he doesn't have a last name that rhymes with Homo. That last part doesn't really matter I guess but I felt like it was important to add for personal reasons.

Fun tidbit before I get into it more: T.O. was also a Philadelphia Eagle for a couple years. He has NFC East Revenge written all over him. His first year as an Eagle they made it to the Superbowl only to be shutdown by the almighty Patriots. Another factoid: The Eagles have NEVER won a Superbowl. And one last fun fact: The last Superbowl that the Redskins won was in '92... Superbowl XXVI. The Redskins defeated none other than (dun dun dunnn) The Buffalo Bills. 37-24. Pretty cool huh? Ok, back to Campbell...

This is Campbells make or break year. I believe he'll make it and make you go "Ohhhh!" but should he not make it I have more than enough faith in our backup QBs. Chase Daniel and Colt Brennan both have quick releases and are good in the pocket. They also have easy going personalities are easy to get along with. They're good people on and off the field and that's important. I'm really anxious to see Colt perform this pre-season. I'm a big fan of the sidearm throw and his split second decision-making skills. That kid can scramble. He also had hip surgery in the off season and I've heard he's recovered nicely. So Campbell or Colt are both excellent QB options (I'm biased towards them so I'm not considering others).

Other teams would not be able to stop us. You cant drop back and double or triple up on T.O. when you have Santana Moss or Devin Thomas (he WILL be great) in there eager and ready to catch the ball and do a TD dance! Not to mention Antwaan Randle El and Malcolm Kelly (who will also be great). What about Clinton Portis, Chris Cooley, Ladell Betts and Rock Cartwright? Ya gonna leave them wide open to take the ball and run?!? Because they will. Especially Cooley and Portis; they are get-that-ball-and-go-go-go machines (as long as (pray) Portis stays healthy. Please stay healthy Portis. Please GOD stay healthy. Amen). And what about Mike Sellers!?!!?

Ok, I think you get my drift. Offense would be stacked. With the signing of Albert Haynesworth (BEAST!) and Brian Orakpo this year, defense is gonna be ridiculous. Steelers ridiculous. It excites me just thinking about it. Now let's get real. The Redskins have been unreliable in the past; they're inconsistent and just doggone frustrating for fans bleeding burgundy and gold year round. I hope I'm not being irrational though when I say that I believe in this team. This isn't just a make or break year for Jason; with our average O-Line age in the 30's... 2009 is a make or break year for this Redskins unit as a whole. Not to mention Coach Zorn (What's the opposite of Hip Hip Hurray?)

Sure we could trade some players, cut some players over the "ideal" NFL age, draft some newbies and pick up some free agents and they'd still be the Redskins but... although I will always love the Redskins... it just wouldn't seem right if say, Chris Cooley wasn't our TE. Ya know? I'd feel abandoned and empty if he were to be traded to the Broncos or something. I'd cry every single game. Maybe every day. Seriously. After all these years I haven't just been cheering on the Redskins as a whole, I've been cheering on the players as individuals. I was so sad when they let Marcus Washington go this year. Sad AND mad. Marcus was the man; the all around man. AND he was an Auburn Tiger Alum! I met him at a bar once and not only is he adorable as hell but he's also the nicest guy. I just happened to be wearing an Auburn sweatshirt at the time and he came up and gave me an enthusiastic, "War Eagle!" (it's our battle cry). Top ten moments of my life right there. . War Damn Eagle Marcus.

Granted, these players aren't my close, personal friends (by any means unfortunately) but in my own little world they're like family. We're a big, happy, football loving Redskins family. I've probably said that before; and it sounds just as corny this time. But if you're a fan of any NFL team or even college for that matter I'm sure you know what it's like. Imagine if Tim Tebow decided this year to go to the University of Georgia and play for them. Impossible... but just imagine. People would get effing killed because of it. Literally. Southern college football fans are insane (insanely awesome that is).

But I digress. I digress a lot. Back to point C: The Redskins will make it this year: Period. We have to and we can; therefor we will. It's a big deal. Back to point B: T.O. will see how far we've come and want to play with/for us. He'll understandably want to get the hell out of Buffalo (or Toronto or wherever) and he would shine in a city like DC. Just look at Alexander Ovechkin! Alex is intense like a category 5 hurricane. He celebrates after he makes incredible goals and many people would call his celebration tactics (like T.O.'s) controversial and disrespectful: Some people really don't like it (haters). But here in DC... We love us some Great 8; he's one hell of a SuperStar. He is it. We know he's just having fun out there. Leave em alone! Let em play! He's awesome! He even got the keys to the city. Does that happen often?? Answer: Big No. He's DC royalty. T.O. would revel in this city. If he's smart (which he is) he should take a tip from Ovie and practice being a little humble off the field. Just try it out. Not only is it good for your soul but it'll be good for your bank account. Women think it's hot too. I mean he's already hot but... anyways.

Now full circle back to point A: Watch The T.O. Show. Watch it even if every ounce of you hates him. Whether you like it or not, I'm pretty certain (like 98%) he'll grow on you. I'm sorry but he will; unless you suck at life. In which case you should probably crack open a beer, chill the eff out and stop being such a hater. Also, please don't move out of Philly or Pittsburgh. Just stay put. You belong there.

I could be wrong about Terrell Owens. I could be wrong about the Skins this year. I could be wrong about everything. On the other hand though I could be right, and I like that idea much more. Skins fans get ready: The Future Is NOW.