Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Kicking A Field Goal Is Harder Than It Looks?


Trust me I will be posting about the 49ers game a little later. Right now 1. I don't want to think about it yet and 2. I have an article to finish for work but I couldn't stop myself from responding quickly to a comment left on my blog under That's What We Call A Sweep.

I love love love comments, and this is no exception. Thank you Dating Without Pants for reading my blog, it makes me very happy :) You'll have to read the post and check out the whole comment to completely understand my response but part of it read like this, "making a field goal is much harder than it looks". I agree wholeheartedly. That's why Suisham, Rackers, Longwell, Akers and the rest of them get paid more than my entrepreneurial workaholic dad; it's not easy doing what they do.

But... Football is more than a sport, it's a career. And kicking Field goals and PAT's is their job. Their J-O-B. They know what they're doing, they have done it millions of times. Those 10-20 seconds in the game when they judge the wind, make sure they've stretched enough by kicking the air once, point their arm toward the center of the goal post and finally kick the ball that's magically been placed down in front of them is all they do. They train endlessly for it; this is their moment to shine. And shine they should because most of the time when the kicker runs out onto the Field (unless it's for the PAT) it's not just to gain an extra three points in a landslide victory game, it's to save the game because their team has failed in their attempt to make it into the end zone. Their team needs them.

I'm not cocky or ignorant in my female football love. I know that anyone genuinely interested in a blog centered around football already knows everything I've already written. The real point of this post is really just to show off. So maybe I am a little cocky. ;)

At Fed Ex Field there is something known as 'The Tailgate Club' and I've been lucky enough to have been a part of it once. You can buy wristbands to the this tailgate when you purchase season tickets (if you are so lucky to get to the top of the never ending waiting list for Redskins season tickets-- this stadium is always a sell out crowd). I think it was the last pre-season game that my friend Samson invited me to go with him. I had never been to the tailgate club and I had more fun than a 5 year-old in Candy Heaven.

There was a huge (free) BBQ, a meet and greet with some Redskin cheerleaders, huge replicas of your favorite players bodies with only the head missing so it would seem as though you were the player when you posed behind it, big blow-up Redskins receivers with holes where the football should be so you could try to throw the football into the holes and, of course, a place to kick Field goals. I had to try everything. I had never tried to kick a Field goal before but I did used to be a soccer player and I'm not trying to brag but... I am pretty gifted when it comes to sports.

Sometimes I wish I had been born a boy since opportunities for girls and sports are limited after college (limited meaning there really aren't any) but I love being a girl too much to harp on that wish for too long. God knew what he was doing when he made me. If I had been born a boy I would probably just be blogging now about all the opportunities I let slip me by because I had been too drunk, too rebellious, too lazy or simply not confidant enough to pursue. Let bygones be bygones right?

But I digress.

Back to the point. If a 5'4 115 pound 24 year old can make it on her first try (in flip flops no less)... I stand firm that pro football kickers with years of experience should make it. I'm not looking for perfection but fans should never really have waves of worry wash over them when their teams kicker runs out onto the Field; missing a Field goal should be a rare occurrence. I'm sick of biting my nails (which I hate doing) when Suisham lines up his kick. He's better than that. His paycheck says so.

Wanna see me kick my first Field goal?? Of course you do :)

I would have uploaded it here for you to watch but unfortunately I don't have it saved on my computer since it was taken with Samson's camera. But I made the Myspace video public so hopefully you'll be able to see it.

Other memories from that day...
It took me three tries to throw the ball into Cooley's awaiting arms. The picture was just taken as a fun reminder.

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEY

Happy girl :)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

That's What We Call A Sweep

I knew we could do it. For some reason, the air on Sunday, December 21 felt different. It was cleaner; it was crisper. Somehow I got my hungover ass out of bed. My two friends L and J were also waking up and as we were wiping mascara off from under our eyes (last nights makeup) and throwing on layer after layer of clothing we started to ignore the voices that said Go back to sleep you only got 2 hours last night and you're still drunk and instead started listening to the other loud voices saying FUCK YEAH, TODAY WE PLAY THE EAGLES AND WE'RE GONNA KILL EM! WE GOTTA GET THERE GET THERE GET THERE NOW! (FYI- I guess this is a good time to tell you I hear voices.. not schizo ones.. just ya know.... voices. It's normal)

We get to Fed sEx around 1:45 (game at 4:15), plenty of time to tailgate, make new friends and get wasted. Wait, no, sorry I am already wasted from the bottles of champagne we drank in the car. oops. What can I say, the air was different, we were celebrating early. I, unfortunately, do not have a ticket yet. The fam has season tickets and my dad gave these tickets away to clients. Thanks a lot. So after drinking copious amounts of sweet tea vodka the three of us start to head to the stadium on a mission. L has to pee. Pit stop at port-o-jon. I am consistentley yelling at the top of my lungs "I NEED A TICKET. PLEASE GOD SOMEONE SELL ME A TICKET."

Enter big black man and wife. "I've got tickets"
"SWEET! How much!??"

"Hundred bucks"
"A HUNDRED DOLLARS?!? It's 10 Minutes to game time you crazy! You can't ask for face value this close to game time!"
"I have two"
"Oh, well I only need one"

"No, I said I have two and I'm gonna sell both of em"
(He starts walking away... oh God) "I'LL BUY THEM BOTH!!!"
He stops. He comes back. I start to get suspicious, "Lemme see the tickets."
He pulls them out.

This mans seats were better than our families season tickets. Ironically in the exact same section, only 10 rows down further. I gasp. As I'm reaching for the bill my dad gave me at our company xmas party (thanks daddy), J decides that what we need to do is try to negotiate.

"She'll give you $90"
In my head a light bulb... what a great idea.
Me: "No, I'll give you $80"
J turns and looks at me with dismay, I think its because I didn't take a big enough risk,
"$75"
J shakes her head
Black man looks completely perplexed. "Um, Naw man, It's $100. That's it."
I pout for a second. And then realize I don't give a fuck what the price is. Gimmie those tickets.

I am now on cloud 9 even though J has informed me that I'm the worst negotiator ever. I already knew that, that's why I really never try to negotiate.
L is out of the port-o-jon and we're on our way again.

Standing in line at Fed sEx is always fun. No really it is. This is when you see opposing fans that you can heckle and you don't have to sit next to them the whole game. It's great. Highlights from waiting in the mass of people that is the line to get into Fed sEx.
Me behind an eagles fan with a Runyan jersey on, "Hey Loser! Why don't you Runyan ass home!? BC U SUCK!"
His response (He actually laughs, genuine laughter) "Holy shit a funny Redskins fan, that's awesome. That was a good one." Still laughing.

Damn, that's not the usual reaction. I was kinda hoping for a confrontation of some sort. L backs me up and possibly takes it too far when she yells (to no one in particular), "I wanna McStab the fucking Eagles in their fucking Gonads!!! FUCK the Eagles!"

L will actually look around and find the one person in the waiting herd of people that is most offended by her and keep heckling them just for fun. Yeah. Seriously. Chugging our drinks on the way to the ticket line where we are forced to thr
ow them out maybe wasn't the best idea...

Who cares now?! We're inside and this is the first game I brought my tomahawk to. I'm so excited.
We all sit down where my newly purchased tickets are. Well we don't sit, b/c we never ever sit at games. So we're standing.

Where's the Fucking beer man!?? We search for 5 minutes.
SUCCESS! 6 miller lights please. He looks at us... six?
Yeah 6, why... can we get 3 each?
No, apparently we cannot, 2 a person is the limit.
He only has 4 miller lights left.
Worthless beer man. You are not going to talk us out of getting our 6 beers.
We decide to take 4 MLs and 2 BLs.
It's so cold out you can't taste them anyways.
This is taking way too long. I tip too much to make him go away (yet come back often with more Miller Lights)

Kickoff. My heart soars, I feel like I'm high. I'm not... but I am def drunk. And that explains why I don't really know what happened for the rest of the game in any particular sequence. This is the game as I remember...

  • Plackemeier does WORK. He makes me jump up and down in my seat. Nice punting Ryan.
  • Jason Taylor looks SICK. I knew he was a monster, welcome to the monster show.
  • Jason Campbell runs the ball and keeps running. I feel like he is running forever. He isn't, but really huge gain. Also makes me jump up and down screaming "YEA BABY GOOOO!"
  • Portis is getting shut down, why is this happening to us?!?!
  • Suisham misses the field goal. Well of fucking course he does. I start crying. Yes, CRYING.
Pause. Don't judge. Let me explain. Football is very emotional to me. I could probably explain why but that would take forever so let me just explain instead why I cried at this moment. I love the Redskins, but they usually prove to be a very emotional team. When they have momentum and they're pumped up; they win. When the chips are down and it's not looking good; they lose.

That's just how it's been in my opinion. I wish I could be down on the sidelines with them just pumping them up, but I can't. I have to stay in my seat. And they cant hear me screaming my encouraging words. It's so frustrating. So I cry b/c they just look so damn sad sometimes and the game isn't even half over.

J gets PISSED. "STOP CRYING WE'RE GONNA WIN!"
Me: "I KNOW it's just... it's just... what if they don't turn it around?? We have to win J we HAVE to win! I KNOW we can do it!"
J " WE ARE gonna win! Seriously stop crying. Jesus, L look, she's crying already"
L "Oh My God are you really crying??"
Me "LEAVE ME ALONE!! I HATE SUISHAM!"
L & J say something like, "Ya he fucking sucks balls"

I now decide to go pee. I have had to do this for almost the whole game while drinking ML. Fuck the line in the girls room and the little girl (like 11 years old) who thinks she can cut. I'm feeling empathetic, I let her go ahead. I'm so nice sometimes.

After peeing I walk nack out into the corridor or whatever it's called. I smoke a cig and wonder aloud with a random smoker next to me how long it will take for us to get told not to smoke there (it's a non-smoking area). He shrugs about it being freezing or something, but I wasn't really listening. I continue chatting till I'm done with my cig and say goodbye to my new friend. Making new friends is the best (I'm sure he feels the same way, whatever his name is).

I start walking back into our section and notice that everyone is walking out. I scream to no one in particular, "Whats going on? Where is everyone going?!?!??!!" Someone else hollers, "Honey it's halftime." Shit, I am an idiot. Obviously it's halftime.

Halftime is somewhat uneventful. I smoke cigs at my seat b/c it's so cold no one can tell if it's smoke coming out of your mouth or just your breath. Right before the game starts up again I decide I need some gloves. I am really really cold. Especially my fingers. My fingers feel like they might fall off.

I go to the redskins store.
"I need mittens"
"We don't have any"
"WHAT!?! It's less than 20 degrees with windchill and you have NO mittens!???"
"Sorry"
"Shit Shit Shit. Ok. well. I want a Cooley jersey. One that fits over all the clothes I have on now, and it has to be white." (this was a split second decision. I just wanted to buy something and I remembered during the 1st quarter I screamed at people around me to stop booing or I would kill them and the guy behind me gently reminded me that fans say COOOOOOOOLEY when he catches the ball. I feel like a failure as a fan for not paying closer attention to the game and not knowing when Cooley had the ball b/c I love him: Hence, my jersey purchase) "AND I want that headband, that one, that one there, the big one.. ITS THE ONLY ONE LEFT!"
Oddly the guy behind the counter loves me.
"Hey I see you here a lot."
"Yeah I'm at every game, I smoke cigs in that tunnel when I get yelled at for smoking them in front of the TV"
"yeah, that's you. (he smiles) cool."
He now makes it his job to make me a satisfied customer (at least that's what I tell myself) and it works, he is awesome.

Wearing my super rad new Cooley 47 white jersey I decide its time for more beer. I go up to the nearest vendor. "What kinda beer you got?"
"Sorry Honey, end of third quarter we're closin up."
WHAT!?!?!!!!
"SERIOUSLY!?"
"Fraid so"
"Well HELP me! Where can I buy beer!? I neeed it!"
"Try that bar over there"
Thank GOD for that woman. I Run.
"4 Miller Lights PLEASE!"
"We don't have Miller Light"
"Ok, 4 Whatever Lights" (Does it really matter at the end of third quarter anyways??)
She obliges. Man behind me helps me carry beer to seat. Being a girl is wonderful.
L and J stare at me as I finally return.
L & J "Where WERE you!?? You missed the... (pause) OMG she bought a jersey. Look how big it is!"
J especially loves when I do stupid random things like drunkenly buy a huge men's jersey, or eat everything in her fridge after smoking, or fall on my face while walking... things like that.

I show them beer. They forget momentarily about my drunk wanderings and focus on drinking it.
J "This is the worst Bud Light ever"
Me "Maybe that's because it's Heineken Light"
L busts out laughing
J (trying to save face) "No well, bc it looks like bud light, are you sure its Heini?"
Me "Yup, I saw her pour it, she wouldn't give me the glass bottles" (I can't imagine why not?)

We focus on the game. I even take a video on my phone... OHHH yeah. It's amazing. FUCK the EAGLES!



More of what I remember from the game...
  • Suisham makes a field goal. Even I could have made that one.
  • JC is having a really really good game. I love him.
  • Our defense is actually acting like a defense. Hold on to your balls if you can. (The eagles can't)
  • Portis doesn't score... we get nervous... fucking red zone.
  • PORTIS SCORES!! WE GO WILD!! HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!!! HAIL VICTORY and all that jazz.
  • Santana Moss returns a punt, and it's a beaut. And then ya know what? Ya know what?!? Penalty on the Play! Fucking perfect! Typical. And I'm pissed again.
  • The eagles don't score a single touchdown.
  • My favorite part of the game: Redskins dance. I don't remember what quarter it was in but I distinctively remember seeing the Redskins on the field dancing to the rap music being playing over the loud speakers. Whenever the Redskins start dancing you know they're gonna win. It's the best thing in the world. If any Redskins are reading, please dance more bc I love it. and I love you (not in a creepy way).
  • The end of the game was a little confusing for some reason. And then we celebrated!! HAIL!
So that's the game as I remember it. The bullet points are in no particular order except for the last one. I also remember kissing the black guy who I usually sit next to at games (this is very very unlike me) I ran up to him in the parking lot, jumped on him, wrapped my legs around him and planted one on him. I'm pretty sure he's in love with me, he keeps texting and asking me out. oops.

I have never been so excited to win. Or maybe it just feels like that since it was the first win against a good team in a WHILE. And I'm so sad that there are no more home games and the seasons almost over. What am I going to do? Next year cannot come soon enough. We're gonna seriously dominate. Our team has Super Bowl written all over them in 2010. You've just gotta believe haha. I'm serious!

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Show Some Pink

Completely off the topic of Football but very relevant to showing skin. The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show aired last night and honestly, who doesn't love the Victoria's Secret Angels?!?
PINK was my personal fav but if you wanna see more just go to Youtube!