Friday, July 24, 2009

FYI Friday

FYI Friday is something I'm hoping to do every week on my favorite day (Friday, obviously). I''m gonna hit you with the latest news, as well as the latest "news", and (of course) share a few of my own thoughts on the matter. This week has been chock full of rumors, reports, updates, accusations and surprises relating to the NFL as well as the NCAA. Well, let's get to it shall we?

  • Clinton Portis has been spotted sporting a new look. I'm actually a couple weeks late on this bit of "news" but... better late than never right? Personal opinion: He can sport whatever look he wants- He's Clinton freagin Portis. He can wear girl clothes and a thong tha thong thong thong for all I care, he's still gonna rush all over you come Sunday (or Monday). Say somethin. (Say somethin should be read in a confrontational ghetto voice to get the effect I was going for)
  • Chris Cooley is back from his trip and has started training to go to war. THIS. IS. DC! (Think: This. Is. Sparta.) I admire his approach. The Redskins are going to war: With the Giants, the Eagles, the Cowboys, the Steelers, the Chargers, the Falcons, etc. Bring it on bitches. We will destroy you.
  • The QB that looks disturbingly like an ogre (aka Ben Roethlisberger) and led his team, the Steelers, to a Superbowl win last year has been accused of raping some money-hungry slutbucket. Wait, no, my mistake; he's been accused of raping an innocent young woman. Side note: I wasn't aware until now that innocent young women even existed anymore. It's amazing, you really do learn something new every day. Oh and for the record- He didn't do it. Shocker. Obviously he's gonna say he didn't do it. Do I think he did it? Well, one would hope that an NFL quarterback coming off a Superbowl win would have more sense than to commit such a crime. However, he does look like an ogre... and ogre's aren't known for their smarts. In fact, I believe they're known for the opposite. Awesome NFL QB or not; that kid is just not attractive in any way, shape or form. Honestly I have no idea if he did it or not. No one really does. All I know is that the last place I would want to be is in a hotel room (or anywhere for that matter) all alone with a horny Big Ben. I shudder at the thought.
  • Michael Vick is a free man awaiting NFL reinstatement. What do straight men do after getting off house arrest? They hit up the local strip club, DUH. I find nothing wrong with this. Seriously. If you've never been to a strip club and you're of age I highly recommend you go check one out b/c they're a lot of fun; even for a straight girl. Don't go to a sketchy one though. Keep it classy. People need to relax and cut this man some slack. I mean, he did his time, he paid out the ass, he complied with all the rules of his house arrest and we didn't even hear him complain about it. What's a guy supposed to do now? Huh? What's he gotta do to play some freagin football. Vick was born to play football. He's not running for president of the United States or anything. I don't see what the huge fuss is about. If your response is something along the lines of, "He's a dog killer with no remorse", then I recommend you go live in or around Atlanta, Georgia for a few years. Absorb the culture down there. Then you can come back north and say whatever you wanna say about Vick. But if you've never lived in the south, you need to shut your mouth b/c you don't know what you're talking about. I'm not pro-dog fighting or anything, but I do understand where he's coming from. It's like bull fighting in Spain. They don't think much of it down south from my experience. It's just what they do. I personally feel sorry for Michael Vick and don't think he deserved the shit storm that rained down on him. If you don't agree with me that's fine; most of my friends don't either.
  • Tim Tebow is still the proud owner of his V-card. Making women everywhere ready and eager to jump his bones. I listened to part of his interview this morning on the radio and I totally believe him. He's a conservative, he's anti-abortion and he's upfront about his beliefs. My mom would love him. Good for him. I knew I liked him, even though he is a gator (and Auburn Tigers do not like Florida Gators). America needs more guys like Tim Tebow. He's hot, he's talented, he's driven, he's smart, he's saving himself AND he's not ashamed of it. Why would you be ashamed of it? Why are people making this out to be some huge deal? I find it admirable that he doesn't feel the need to sleep with every PYT that comes his way. Tim Tebow could get any woman. Snaps to Tebow for rising above and showing that not all guys are horny little assholes. I hope I'm lucky enough to meet a guy just like him one day. Seeing as how most guys really are horny little assholes... the chances of this happening are probably slim to none. Sigh. This is why I'm single. Boys take notes. You could learn a thing or two from TT.
  • Erin Andrews evidently has a video all over the Internet of her in her hotel room undressing or checking herself out or slapping her own ass or something. Who knows who recorded the video. And for the record can I just say: Who cares?!? Not I. Just give me my sports news and nobody gets hurt. What she does in her hotel room when tom's are peeping is of no interest to me. I know you horny little asshole boys are probably very interested to which I say: GET A LIFE. Leave the girl alone before you drive her to anorexia again. Sheesh.
  • The University of Georgia sucks even more in my book now. Why? Because everyone knows that ugly quarterbacks are never as good as hot quarterbacks. Purely opinion obviously but still based on truth. Just look at the whole picture. You would have to agree that Tom Brady would not be as popular if he was ugly. I mean that's basically a fact. He might have been as good but he never would have been as popular. Big Ben is ugly. Fact. Big Ben's team just won the Superbowl. Fact. Now, have you seen Ben in any clothing advertisements? Commercials? In Magazines? Tabloids? No, you haven't. Why? Because he's ugly and no one wants to look at him. The quarterback position has more to it than just making plays. The QB represents the team and/or University. I want my QB to be easy on the eyes and dominate on the field. I want the total package. Unfortunately for UGA... their quarterback is just plain fugly. So I just wanted them to know... that the rest of the SEC is laughing at you. Ha. Ha. Ha. Y'all really are dawgs. Woof.


auburntigersfootball said...

tim tebow just made my day! i mean, he looked so comfortable answering that question. I bet you a lot of guys are going to wait now until marriage, I was going to anyways, but he just fortified my decesion. This may be a little weird on your post, but hell, its news. ;)anyways, I like what you say for the last 2 sentences on Clinton Portis and Chris Cooley...nice!!!

Anthony M Burrola said...,178026