I honestly just started following you and your career at the beginning of last year. I had heard a lot about you but didn't really start following other teams until I got into... dun dun dunnnn... fantasy football. You screwed me week one. I know, I know, you didn't even play week one. It's my fault really- I should have benched you but I was new to ffb and completely overwhelmed. After that though, on the weeks you played... dude you're ridiculous! Thank you Thank you Thank you. Theblondethatskors is in your debt. Even when Eddie Royal and you played at the same time you put up insane numbers most of the time. Both of you were on my team and, despite everyone telling me it was an awful strategy, I played both of you almost every week after determining through intense research whether you would play or not. It was stressful having you on the fritz like that and I prayed that in the off season you would get back to 100% and be rearing to go in the '09/'10 season.
Having said that... I've been wondering recently... What the fuck are you doing dude?!?!??!! During the depressing months of football off season the last thing I wanna read about is you being a woman beater. WTF?!?!! You're Brandon Fucking Marshall! Brandon Marshall doesn't beat women! That's for pathetic, low-life losers who have no self-esteem and no future! NOT YOU! What are you thinking?! Why are you doing this to your loyal, loving fans not to mention to yourself!
So I've been reading a lot about it and I've learned that you're no stranger to handcuffs. I just don't get how someone in your position can sleep at night or whatever knowing not only do you beat women (NOT ok at ALL) but that you're probably fucking up your NFL career. It's really sad and it makes me wanna cry. For example, you're looking for a trade right now- I saw it on ESPN news the other night. My reactions went as follows...
Reaction 1- "Why does he wanna get traded from the Broncos? First Cutler now B. Marshall?! Is their coach like, a total asshole or something? They could be such an amazing team with all that talent!"
Reaction 2- "Holy. Shit. Holy Shit Holy Shit Holy Shit. The Redskins better fucking get B. Marshall that would be so perfect!!! AHHH YESSS!!! I'd buy his burgundy and gold jersey in like 2 seconds! And we need a WR so bad right now omg, OMG, OMG!"
Reaction 3- "Shit... I forgot he got arrested for beating women again. Dammit. When is that trial? I wonder what's gonna happen after the trial... is he gonna be allowed to play? We cant sign someone and give up draft picks if they aren't even gonna get to play! Fuck this sucks!"
Now I'm torn Brandon. I want you. I really do. I want you to be a Redskin. I believe in you. The run-ins with the law have got to stop though. You just cant have liabilities like that! Think of the endless options you would have without this on your record. Now I have no idea what Snyder's gonna do. I mean, yeah Snyder loves snatching up players like you (thank God) but he might not wanna deal with the shit storm you'd bring. And you would bring quite the shit storm.
Most people I've talked to don't wanna deal with you and your storm and it's the saddest thing I've ever heard. B/c you deserve better and so do your fans. You're Brandon Fucking Marshall and to me that means you're the best of the best. The best of the best have their shit together though. You've got to get your shit together if you're gonna have long-term staying power in the NFL. I would be totally distraught if you went the route of Plaxico or Vick. Please don't do that to me Brandon. Seriously I would probably have a really awful panic attack. I'm worried. I want you to get the best lawyer in the world, sign with Washington and make some fucking moves this season. Make some serious moves. Don't make me regret drafting you to Theblondethatskors this year. Get outta trouble, don't go looking for more trouble and just do what you do best- get that ball and run!! TOUCHDOWN BRANDON MARSHALL!! And the crowd goes wild.
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